The Wet Loving Kiss

My mum grew up in a traditional Chinese family where open expressions of love were never encouraged. When she had me and my three siblings, she treated us the with the same hard hand. It was not that she was a slave driver or anything, but she never openly showed affection. Instead, she demonstrated that she cared in more practical ways.

My parents couldn't have been more different emotionally. My dad is a really open-hearted person who constantly showers us with hugs and kisses no matter the occasion.

The difference between my parents was never stark than during the times I brought home good test results from school. My dad would practically jump for joy, offering warm and affectionate words of congratulations. And my mother? "Ah, good, good," she would typically say with a tense smile etched on her face. "Do better next time, OK?"

I tried not to grudge against her for being so reserved. That was just her way, I reasoned.

It was the kisses that we children secretly yearned for. I received a peck on the cheek from her once in a while when I was a small little naive kid. I can remember the kisses, awkward and wet, from her lipstick. I would rub the smudge on my cheek, trying to look disgusted but secretly glad to get a once-in-a-blue-moon kiss from mummy.

Last year I was called to attend one of the choir practices in my secondary school. I desperately wanted to get there. Since we lived quite far away from school, 10 kilometers away, my dad had to drive me all the way to school before attending office. My mum, being her usual worrywart self, said she wanted to come along since she had to attend a company's yearly meeting with dad. As soon as I boarded the car, I just plopped down onto window seat and turned my back to my mum. She knew what I was like and sat down beside me without saying a word. I was drained mainly because of last night's farewell party that ended very late. I looked sick but insisted to attend the choir practice. Dad was immediately furious at me, he scolded me and asked me to quit joining choir, saying that it would be the last time he would sent me. While I lashed back at my dad, tears started flowing down from my snore eyes. The depression that i had was beyond words could describe. I could no longer bear the scolding. As the car pulled onto highway, drowsiness began to take over and i was asleep in no time.

Not long afterwards, I was awakened by the pitter-patter of rain on the window. I kept my eyes closed- it allowed me time to think and just relax. My head was lolling to the left, close to my mum. Then, just as I was about to open my eyes, I felt her hand caressing my cheek. That really threw me off. I squeezed my eyes tighter, not knowing what to expect next.

I heard her murmur, "I support you," And then it came: a wet kiss, tinged with the familiar feeling of that usual lipstick, on my cheek.

I was stunned. As tears again welled in my eyes, I turned to the other side to prevent her from seeing them. I slowly opened my eyes and stared out the window, gazing at the trees whizzing past on highway. The lump in my throat just kept growing and growing. I practically had to force it down to prevent my mum from hearing me sob.

Never in all my life did i expect such a gesture from my "colder than stone" mum. It made me realise that she did love me, even though she never made a big show of it. Instead she demonstrated her feelings through all the little things she did.

I did not think I could face her without bawling my eyes out. However, with all the emotional strength I could muster, I turned towards her. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly open. As i gazed at her face, peppered with wrinkles and lines that showed her age, I realised at that point that I was looking at my mother in a whole new light.

Then, as if my stare had awakened her from her slumber, her eyes fluttered open and she turned to me. "What? Do I have something on my face? Or?! Aiyo...Why are your eyes so puffy? Don't be bothered much by daddy's scolding... Everything will be fine after that..."

I held back a smile as I listened to her go on and on. For once, I was not irritated or annoyed by what she said. It was just her way.

I finally understand that all she does is out of love, and that means more to me than a wet loving kiss....